Feeling really down tonight. I’m at work, 9 miles from home and my back is agony and my CFS means that I’ve spent most of today in bed and will spend most of tomorrow in bed just so that I can earn enough to get by. I miss my children so much but there are no jobs nearby that I can do. I shouldn’t have to live like this but I know in my heart of hearts that any assessor would mark me as fit to work. The situation is worsened by the fact that the nearest childminder with spaces is over a mile away from my home so my visually impaired husband has to walk miles with them – it’s a lot for a 6 year old and 2 3 year olds to manage. The only saving grace is that I currently get DLA and use it to hire a car but under the PIP rules I will loose this. No car means me giving up my job and having to raise 3 children on my husband’s salary which is simply impossible. I won’t be able to pay for my prescriptions, massages etc which help with pain relief, won’t be able to take my kids to school or to the childminder and I will loose my disabled persons tax credit.
I just want to be able to use my limited energy to look after my children. I don’t want to be off my head on a cocktail of pain killers just so that I can afford to pay my gas and electric bill every month – it simply isn’t right. I would love to manage to work and to cope with family life but it’s not that simple. DLA helped me but now that’s gone what am I meant to do?
The change to PIP is a backward step based on an antiquated medical model of disability made een worse by the fact that it is lead not by need but by some stupid, unproven notion that it will save money.
And now I try to sleep 😦