Monthly Archives: February 2012



Had the most horrific night last night and all because I walked about 100 yards 😦

I’m exhausted and sore and yet today somehow i’ve got to get the strength together to get the twins ready and out of the door for nursery, as well as trying to appeal my DLA decision which will see me loose my car and the childcare which gives my girls some quality of life. 

If I could affford car insurance I would happily buy my own car rather than rely on motability but with every premium coming in over £1000 and monthly payments being £150 there is no chance. What’s most gaulling about the decision is that they’ve got the same information that I gave on the previous 2 awards! And the government are trying to argue that they’ve not changed anything? Bull

I will fight this because I know I am right. To say all of a sudden I have no mobility problem at a point where i’m taking 36 painkillers a day and unable to walk from the car into church which is requiring me to take more meds in order to sleep is madness. The GP and I have agreed that using my manual wheelchair is my only real option if I want to regain some mobility. With my back i’m trapped in a spiral. My CFS makes it difficult if not impossible to exercise so I put on weight, this has caused me to suffer back problems which means I have to take large amounts of pain meds which cause me to put more weight on. If I exercise my back hurts and I have to take more painkillers. The only feasible way to cut the pain meds is to loose weight which I can’t do because I have CFS, can’t exercise and take stupid amounts of pain relief. My GP and I both agree that all I can do is use my manual chair more and hope I can burn off calories using that. Of course without my car this plan won’t work because I can only push short distances and i’ll be reliant on my powerchair which won’t help me loose any weight.

On top of this is the job problem. Can I start a job when I’m like this? Can I start a job when I could loose my car and not be able to get there? Right now i’m praying for a solution.





Never thought i’d say Kinnock was right


Check this out from 1983 – Kind of sounds familiar doesn’t it. Pinched from my friend Julia’s facebook status

If Margaret Thatcher is re-elected as prime minister on Thursday, I warn you. I warn you that you will have pain when healing and relief depend upon payment. I warn you that you will have ignorance when talents are untended …and wits are wasted, when learning is a privilege and not a right. I warn you that you will have poverty when pensions slip and benefits are whittled away by a government that won’t pay in an economy that can’t pay. I warn you that you will be cold when fuel charges are used as a tax system that the rich don’t notice and the poor can’t afford. I warn you that you must not expect work when many cannot spend, more will not be able to earn. When they don’t earn, they don’t spend. When they don’t spend, work dies. I warn you not to go into the streets alone after dark or into the streets in large crowds of protest in the light. I warn you that you will be quiet when the curfew of fear and the gibbet of unemployment make you obedient. I warn you that you will have defence of a sort with a risk and at a price that passes all understanding. I warn you that you will be home-bound when fares and transport bills kill leisure and lock you up. I warn you that you will borrow less when credit, loans, mortgages and easy payments are refused to people on your melting income. If Margaret Thatcher wins on Thursday? – I warn you not to be ordinary – I warn you not to be young – I warn you not to fall ill – I warn you not to get old.

an update


Thought i’d best do an update. Went to the hospital on Friday and was told I have something called lordosis and basically my spine is curving excessively. It’s curable but I need to loose weight and do lots of exercise. Only problem is my CFS as i’m in the top 40% of sufferers and struggle to do much other than lying in bed most of the time. I’m worried that the twice weekly exercise classes are going to knock me out. Now it looks like it’s unlikely i’m going to be able to go back to work because the pain meds are making me really foggy and i can’t care for others in this state – especially with the exercise classes. I’m facing the fact that for the time being i’m going to be best off using a manual wheelchair to get around. At the moment i’m struggling to walk so avoid doing it which isn’t helping. At least in a wheelchair i’ll burn off some calories. All isn’t bleak. I got a second hand powerchair a couple of weeks ago so i can get into town without the car, I have an interview at a nearby care home for an activity co-ordinators job tomorrow 🙂