Ug

Had the most horrific night last night and all because I walked about 100 yards 😦

I’m exhausted and sore and yet today somehow i’ve got to get the strength together to get the twins ready and out of the door for nursery, as well as trying to appeal my DLA decision which will see me loose my car and the childcare which gives my girls some quality of life. 

If I could affford car insurance I would happily buy my own car rather than rely on motability but with every premium coming in over £1000 and monthly payments being £150 there is no chance. What’s most gaulling about the decision is that they’ve got the same information that I gave on the previous 2 awards! And the government are trying to argue that they’ve not changed anything? Bull

I will fight this because I know I am right. To say all of a sudden I have no mobility problem at a point where i’m taking 36 painkillers a day and unable to walk from the car into church which is requiring me to take more meds in order to sleep is madness. The GP and I have agreed that using my manual wheelchair is my only real option if I want to regain some mobility. With my back i’m trapped in a spiral. My CFS makes it difficult if not impossible to exercise so I put on weight, this has caused me to suffer back problems which means I have to take large amounts of pain meds which cause me to put more weight on. If I exercise my back hurts and I have to take more painkillers. The only feasible way to cut the pain meds is to loose weight which I can’t do because I have CFS, can’t exercise and take stupid amounts of pain relief. My GP and I both agree that all I can do is use my manual chair more and hope I can burn off calories using that. Of course without my car this plan won’t work because I can only push short distances and i’ll be reliant on my powerchair which won’t help me loose any weight.

On top of this is the job problem. Can I start a job when I’m like this? Can I start a job when I could loose my car and not be able to get there? Right now i’m praying for a solution.